My story:
Unreal, strange, foggy, robot-like, detached, and feeling as if you live in a movie are all strong signs that you may have a condition called depersonalization and/or derealization. Not much is know about this condition, only that it is usually triggered by stress, anxiety, and marijuana. More than likely, if you have this condition, your heart must be beating a 100 times a second and your mind is racing with thoughts. Slow down! Take a deep breath and relax, you have finally found the right website to bring you back to reality and make that horrible feeling of depersonalization and/or derealization disappear for good.
I my self suffered the horrible feeling of derealization for more than a year. It all started for me, when I started experimenting with marijuana. I had no problems for many months, and then one night after smoking a huge "blunt", as my friends at the time called it, I was hit with a huge panic attack ( at the time I did not know what was happening ). I didn't think much of it that night, but knew something was different. I calmed my self down and decided to sleep on it. The next morning the feeling was still there. After a couple of days with the feeling still there, I realized something was wrong. I was a 19 year old kid that had no idea what was going on, words like depersonalization and derealization, where not in my dictionary. I though I was going crazy. Waking up in the morning was horrible, the first thoughts in my head where always "Is the feeling still there?" and it always was. The constant checking to see if the feeling is still there was the hardest part. It ate at me for months and there came a point when it was all I could take. Gaining the urge and strength to overcome this feeling and actually doing something about it, was my first step at regaining reality and kicking my derealization out of my system.
As I opened my internet browser, to try to find out what is wrong with me, I drew a blank as I had no idea what I was searching for. I typed in exactly what I was feeling: scared, unreal, feeling I was in a movie watching my self from the outside. After going through the results for a bit, I finally had a name for my disorder. Derealization was the reason for my despair. Part of me was glad to see that I was not the only one with this condition.
I tried everything on the internet that said would help. I tried the books, the tapes, various pills, and all the self help ideas I could find. Nothing helped. Every morning I would wake up and the feeling was still there and it seemed to get worse.
At this point about seven months have passed and it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel, derealization was here to stay and I would just have to learn how to live with it. A few months went by and I just couldn't take the feeling any more. I decided to give something else a try, a last resort you can say. I called my Grandmother in Russia who is really in to natural healing with plants and such. I told her the whole story and if there was anything she could do to help me. She said she will look in to it and call me in a few days.
I will never forget March 3rd of 2003, it was the day that changed my life. On that day my Grandmother called me and said there may be something that can help and that she will send me some pills shortly. I didn't get my hopes up and didn't really think much of it, since I have pretty much tried everything out there and nothing helped.
The package arrived a few weeks later with a bottle of about 100 white pills, no labels, no markings all it said was to take one in the morning and one at night before sleeping. I did exactly that and didn't think much of it, thinking that it wasn't going to help just like all the other stuff.
Weeks went by and I kept taking the pills in the morning and at night, without really noticing much. One thing I did notice was that I felt a lot more relaxed, little things didn't get to me as much and I just felt a lot more happier over all, which in it self was great even if my derealization was still there.
I don't remember exactly when it happened, but I remember waking up one day in the morning after taking the pills for about tree or four weeks and (I have been living with derealization for over a year at this point), and not checking my self to see if the feeling was there. I didn't realize the feeling of derealization was gone until almost the end of the day. Of course when I though about it, the feeling was back, but realizing that I went almost a whole day without feeling that horrible feeling of derealization was like waking up from a coma. It was the 1st time in over a year I felt alive again! I remember I cried that night, it was very weird feeling. Another thing about derealization is that it makes you feel nothing, you don't feel joy, sadness, love, nothing. It strips you of all emotions. That night it felt like someone took a bucket of emotions and drenched me in them, like cold water in the morning. It felt remarkable, better than sex I would say. After that day, it was easy, each day the feeling would last shorter and shorter, until one day it was gone completely.
It has been six years since my Grandmother send me those pills, and I have been living derealization free for six years and counting. I took the pills for a good 6 months after the feeling was gone, just in case if it decided to come back. I still have a lot of them with me and take them on stressful days, not because of fear of my derealization coming back, but because they just really help you relax and not worry so much. I have had no side effects in the 6 years I have been taking them, the pills are 100% natural and are made from the highest quality extracts of various plants. I have met many people in the past 5 years that have suffered from depersonalization and/or derealization from various reasons (stress, panic attacks, too much marijuana) and after taking my remedy, they are living depersonalization and/or derealization free!
It seems like more and more people are suffering from depersonalization and/or derealization from what I have read on the internet. Living in a derealization world is a horrible experience and no one should have to suffer. I decided to offer my remedy to the public in hopes that it helps as many people as possible.
Thank you for reading my story. I hope it gives you optimism to know that there is a way out and you can be normal again!
Daniel Minavich |
