In my year living with derealization I learned lots about the condition. It was hard for me to find any information on the subject. Anything I did find was scattered all over the place and often time many things would contradict each other. I put this page together to educate people with this condition and to at least give them some kind of idea about what they are dealing with. I am by no means a doctor, but living with derealization gave me all the motivation I needed to almost become one.
Since depersonalization and/or derealization doesn't really have any physical side effects, not much is know about it or how to cure it. Most people have the most success by visiting a psychiatrist, but at the end it's all really up to the individual.
Lets go over the difference between depersonalization and derealization.
Depersonalization is when you, yourself do not feel real. You look at your hands and they don't look like they are yours. You walk and it feels like you are just looking at your legs moving, but they don't feel as if they are your own.
Derealization is when you feel real, but the world seems completely unreal. Nothing seems 100% clear. It's as if the world has a little bit of a blur to it. It's as if you are looking at the world through some kind of movie glasses and you are always, every second of the day, checking your self to see if the feeling is still there. I my self used to also have the weirdest hearing anomalies. I would be talking to someone, and I knew I was the one talking, but my ears would hear it as if someone else from another side of the room is talking. It drove me nuts at times.
Both, depersonalization and derealization, almost completely strip you of your feelings. Love, hate, remorse and guilt all completely disappear, you become this being with no emotions. Feelings of deja vu are very common, sometimes the feeling can last for minutes. The hardest part about both depersonalization and derealization is the constant rush of troughs that never go away. Dreams however are not effected, as in when you see dreams they are always derealization free.
Derealization can accompany the neurological conditions of epilepsy, migraine, and mild head injury. There is a similarity between visual hypo-emotionality, a reduced emotional response to viewed objects, and derealization. This suggests a disruption of the process by which perception becomes emotionally colored. This qualitative change in the experiencing of perception may lead to reports of anything viewed being unreal or detached.
Cannabis, hallucinogens, antidepressants, caffeine, and nicotine can all produce feelings resembling derealization, particularly when taken to excess. It can also result from alcohol withdrawal or benzodiazepine withdrawal.
Some doctors believe derealization can also be a symptom of severe sleep disorders, and mental disorders like depersonalization disorder, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and anxiety disorders.
Interceptive exposure can be used as a means to induced derealization, as well as the related phenomenon depersonalization.
For me reality came back little by little after taking Formula #7 for a few weeks. At first I would get these weird moments, that would last seconds (about 5 or so) of feeling completely normal. I would get a rush of feelings, emotions, and things becoming super sharp. These moments where very rare at first and then appeared more often with time. Another thing that was very hard for me to do when I had derealization, was imagining my self doing something. I just couldn't no matter how hard I tired imagine my self shooting a basketball, for example. Little by little, I was able to again. Eventually, I just stopped thinking about it. Formula #7 helped relax my mind to where I was able to turn off those crazy thoughts and ones I was able to do that, my world started to become normal again.
One thing everyone suffering from derealization or depersonalization needs to remember is that both conditions, from what I have learned, are almost always side effects of anxiety. Get your anxiety in check and your depersonalization and/or derealization will be gone. I believe that depersonalization and/or derealization is kind of like a "safe mode" for our brain. When we overload our brain with too many thoughts and anxiety on top of that, the result is a bad panic attack. Depersonalization and/or derealization is just a way for our brain to not overload and give the individual time to work out what ever caused the panic attack.
There was a point in my life, when I completely fell apart and didn't think I would ever get better. Now, I can't even remember what derealization feels like. You will get better, just takes a little bit of time. |
